If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
