Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
