Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Your dad touched me again.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
