i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
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