It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize
