Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
