have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
