She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
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