Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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