i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
