Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
