we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
