I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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