I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
