She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
