Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
