I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
