you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
