i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
