I bet he comes in French.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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