I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize