Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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