the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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