Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize