you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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