i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Please, let me fuck your mom
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
