i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I understand Curling. That high.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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