Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
