Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
