Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
