sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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