you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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