Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
