wanna go halves on a baby?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
