We got so high we made milksteak
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
