He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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