then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
