just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
