and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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