Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize