Me. At least after what I've been through.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
