Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize