U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
