I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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