His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
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