Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
