How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
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We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
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I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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