Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
