Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
