Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
