If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
What a dumb baby whore.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
