$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
now i know why i became what i already was.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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