dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
