Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
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Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
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Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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