don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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