Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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