I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
soo... how was my night?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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