I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
