Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
