I wish I only lived at night.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
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