I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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