Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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